


Sick Of Losing Soulmates

by addicted_2_fandoms



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Coming Out, Crying, Kissing, M/M, Non-binary character, Self-Esteem Issues, Shirtless, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:27:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23277082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addicted_2_fandoms/pseuds/addicted_2_fandoms
Summary: “Thank you.”“For what baby?”“For accepting me. For holding me. For being there for me. For not making fun of me. For treating me no differently. For…”“You never have to thank us for being decent humans. Or treating you no differently. Or holding you. You can always ask for a hug. Or come sit with me. I am always there. Never say thank you for someone treating you with respect.”Based on: a prompt by @dysaniadisorder (on Tumblr)From my tumblr - Lexi LucaciaDo not copy this work onto any other sites
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 3
Kudos: 47





	Sick Of Losing Soulmates

Virgil was feeling depressed. Not that, that wasn’t normal, but they were feeling more depressed, sick and angry than usual. They wanted to sleep more frequently and seemed to linger more when one of the sides touched them. 

They didn't know what was wrong. They couldn't understand why this was happening to them. On top of that, they still hadn't come out to the sides as non-binary. All in all, they were not feeling good. But their troubles hadn't even begun yet.

…

It was a Thursday morning at 7:37am when they realised. Virgil hadn't had their morning cup of coffee yet and was feeling tired and gross. They were rubbing the sleep out of their eyes when they accidentally bumped into someone.

They go to apologise when suddenly a voice speaks up. "Sorry kiddo. Do you want some coffee?"

They look up at Patton's face blushing and manage to stammer out "sure."

Sitting at the kitchen table playing with their thoughts. This was a dangerous pastime for Virgil, but they did it anyway. 

"Virgil. Virgil? Hey bud. I've got your coffee!" Virgil looks up in a daze blushing furiously once again. 

What was wrong with them? Why did they keep blushing? They couldn't like Patton, could they? They lov -- cared for Patton. That was all.

They chug their coffee, trying to rid themselves of any and all thoughts of the chubby, freckled boy from their mind. 

They must have been thinking for a while, because when they looked up Roman and Logan were sitting at the table conversing about something. 

Then the topic of Disney comes up, the little emo seems to come out of hiding to discuss Disney with Roman and Patton can't help but stare at the little glint in their eye. How they came up with different arguments and reasoning for why Peter Pan was evil, or how Anna was really the bad guy, because Virgil was so passionate and it was nice to see them so happy.

Patton is staring for a long time, not even realising it when it clicked. He had felt this before. But it couldn't be, could it? Love. 

…

That night was fam-ILY game night and everyone came down in their onesies. And gosh darn it, Virgil looked so cute! 

"We all have the same face." Logan drawls out for the 7 millionth time.

Shoot, did he say that out loud? "I meant his onesie is cute…" (nailed it).

Virgil was just left in the corner blushing. They were thinking of coming out tonight. Maybe? Would it be a good idea?

So halfway through the game of 'intense' (as Roman described it) Monopoly, Virgil clears their throat.

What if they laugh? What if they hate me? What if…? What if…? Virgil came up with 3,000 different what ifs in their head before Patton lays a hand on their back.

"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to tell us, and if you do we swear to not laugh or judge." And god damn it, how did Patton always know what to say? 

"I'm not a guy. But I'm not a girl either. I'm non-binary." Virgil says, trying to remain calm.

Patton leans over and kisses them on the cheek, causing them to blush.

"Okay. So what pronouns do you use? And do you have a preferred name?" Logan inquires.

Virgil stares at him.

"I of course knew about gender identity from research and such." He clears his throat awkwardly. "Anyway." He continues.

"Virgil is okay and my preferred pronouns are they/them." 

Patton leans over and encases him in a hug before pulling them into his lap. Virgil curls up while Patton whispers in their ear.

"Hey, hey. Don't worry. We love you regardless of your gender. You're perfect in our eyes. Okay your majesty?" 

Virgil smiles, they had never felt more accepted. They lay in Patton's lap for the rest of the night curling into him and getting as much contact as possible. 

While Roman and Logan just smiled. Nodding to each other Logan took Roman's hand and led him to his room, leaving Virgil and Patton their space. 

The sides stayed with each other the whole night. Roman stroking Logan's hair telling him what a brave Prince he was and Patton whispering in Virgil's ear all night.

…

The next morning Virgil wakes up in Patton’s bed. They are really confused until they remember the previous night’s events. 

Virgil smiles, remembering the acceptance they had felt the night before. Still smiling and thinking, they hadn't realised Patton was awake.

"Hey sunshine." Virgil turns, acting confused.

“You talking about yourself? 911. Mental ward?”

Patton smiled fondly at them. “You’re too cute. Now what would Sanders royalty want for breakfast?”

Virgil smiles. They don’t do anything else, just smile before uttering two words. “Thank you.”

Now it was Patton’s turn to act confused. What was Virgil thanking him for.

“Breakfast? No problem kiddo.” He says unsurely.

Then suddenly he hears a bark of laughter coming from the usually reserved and quiet one in the corner. “No.” Virgil is grinning like a lunatic. “For remembering my pronouns, for not treating me differently, for -- for just being there.”

Patton walks over, scooping them up and placing a small kiss on their forehead. “Of course. Nothing changes, just what I call you. You’re still the same person. Although, I might not be as gay.” He giggles. “Only for you though.”

That’s the breaking point for Virgil and suddenly a choked sob is emitted from them, causing Patton to look around anxiously. (That’s Virgil’s job, stupid). 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He rubs Virgil’s back. 

“Baba? Can you tell me? Please?” He pleads with Virgil and through hiccups and sobs he is able to make out Virgil repeating two words.

“Thank you.” 

“For what baby?” He coos at Virgil, trying to convince the broken shell the broken shell in his hands to say something other than ‘thank you’.

“For accepting me.” They sniff loudly. 

“For holding me. For being there for me. For not making fun of me. For treating me no differently. For…” They are cut off by Patton pressing his lips against theirs.

He wipes the tears from Virgil’s face. “You never have to thank us for being decent humans. Or treating you no differently. Or holding you. You can always ask for a hug. Or come sit with me. I am always there.” 

Virgil tries to interrupt but he shushes them. “Never say thank you for someone treating you with respect.” 

Throughout this whole piece Patton’s voice is stern leaving no room for disagreement.

“I love you.” Virgil’s small voice calls out. 

When Patton doesn’t answer straight away Virgil assumes the worst. Holy shit what if he doesn’t like me? What if he just kissed me to toy with my feelings? Patton’s not like that, is he? What if he…? 

Their para -- anxiety is cut off by another press against their lips. “I love you too.” He then proceeds to pick Virgil and place them on the counter.

Walking over to the fridge he calls over his shoulder. “Eggs do? Babe?”

“Y-yeah.” Virgil stutters out going red. 

Patton chuckles throwing his head back and Virgil curls more into their hoodie, silently admiring how hot Patton looks.

The rest of their day is spent with movies, snacks and blankets. Patton making Virgil blush way too much and Virgil silently thanking the gods for giving them someone who called them Sanders royalty/your majesty instead of King (though he thought Patton was a King and deserved to be treated as such).

Roman and Logan mainly stayed with each other for the rest of the day, not really doing anything.

…

Patton didn’t notice anything off with Virgil for the first few weeks of them dating. It was a Friday evening and Patton had noticed Virgil was more clingy lately - not that he minded - but he wanted to be sure Virgil was alright. Later that evening in Patton’s room, he questions Virgil about it.

After hearing this statement, Virgil starts muttering apologies again. All the while Patton reassures that he doesn’t mind but he wanted to make that Virgil was alright. 

Virgil looks down at Patton’s baby blue blanket, the fluffy one Virgil had taken a liking to. Snuggling in further Virgil mulls over the confession they’ve made in the last few weeks.

After a few moments of silence Patton speaks up. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. I don’t want to make my cutie uncomfortable.”

“No.” They mumble out. 

“No you deserve to know.” Virgil speaks with more confidence this time.

“According to the research I have done I am suffering from touch deprivation, more commonly known as skin hunger or being touch starved. It came from the period when y’all didn’t know me well and I didn’t like asking for hugs.”

Patton recalls what they are talking about. He remembers, all the signs. How did he miss them? He was a bad boyfriend. He doesn’t notice the tear rolling down his cheek before Virgil wipes it.

“Hey, hey. This is not your fault.” Virgil whispers.

“But if I had known, or done some-”

“Not your fault.” They state more firmly this time. 

“I was closed off, didn’t talk. Didn’t communicate and am a master at hiding my emotions. Please don’t beat yourself up about this.” Virgil says.

Or I will physically fight you.” They smile, mocking Patton with one of his famous lines.

Patton giggles before pulling Virgil towards him and pulling off his shirt.

“Trust me, my little emo.” He pulls Virgil’s hoodie off, grabbing their shirt in the process too. He then proceeds to pull Virgil closer to his chest.

At this point Virgil is beet red and stuttering things like “Give back my hoodie. Stop. Please?” 

They even try to pull a puppy dog face. Patton ignores them until one comment. 

“I’m ugly. Please?”

He turns to Virgil with an angry expression. “Who told you that?”

“No one had to, I just know.”

“Where? On your cute tummy? Your strong arms? Where?”

Virgil shrinks a little and Patton recoils. “I’m sorry, but you are beautiful. You just need to see that.”

After lying in silence for a while Virgil speaks. “Patton, why did you take our shirts off?”

“Well I remember hearing once that touching someone’s skin can help with touch starvation. Also you’re cute.” He shrugs looking down at a blushing Virgil.

“Just remember, you can tell me anything and I will move a mountain to help you.”

Then Patton starts singing a melody that Virgil knows too well. It was their favourite (though they would never admit it).

“What a strange being you are, God knows where I would be  
If you hadn't found me, sitting all alone in the dark”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, this is my first fic on Archive! Please comment and leave kudos if you enjoyed.
> 
> Sorry that sounded really cliche, I'm just going through a rough period and wanted to post.


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